Friday, September 7, 2012

Shame, Shame, Know Your Name

I made a discovery yesterday that has me really doing some “soul work”. I discovered a TED talk by Brene Brown about listening to shame. If you haven’t heard of TED talks I highly suggest checking them out. They are 20 minute talks with a variety of inspiring folks on a wide array of topics that are just...awesome. (not to mention free and addicting) 

In her talk Brene distinguished shame from guilt in this way: Guilt comes from “I made a mistake”, Shame comes from “I am a mistake.”   

This particular topic hit home with me in the part where she talks about shame as the feeling of not being good enough. The feeling of not deserving. The feeling of “who do you think you are to go for your dreams?” The feeling of not fitting the societal standards . (I know thats getting lofty...don’t worry I’m going somewhere good!) I see extremely excellent folks let themselves believe they aren’t good enough simply based on someone else’s opinion. I understand it because I have done and still do it sometimes.  You let yourself get talked out of good ideas and dreams. You feel bad about your body because it’s not the way the movies and magazines say it should be. I think the worst though is not letting yourself be who you are because you want to please someone else or someone has said that the true version of you isn’t good enough. 

Don’t be ashamed to be who you are. Don’t let shame hold you back from going for it. 
In the talk Brene says “Vulnerability is the birth place for creativity”.  It’s the antidote to shame. When you are feeling that you aren’t good enough, look that shame in the face and push through it. Be vulnerable because you do have what it takes. You are good enough and you do deserve to go for it. 

Be vulnerable. Let it move you forward.

PS check out Brene's Blog and website for more info and insight from her here.