Like a fine wine, letting things in life breathe, can make the flavor that much sweeter. This concept has always been hard for me to follow. I want instant results, instant change, instant resolution. That last one is a biggie for me. I can’t handle un-resolved things. They eat at me and I start obsessively thinking about them. If I’ve had a disagreement with someone and we don’t come to a resolution right there, I will stew on it every moment until we do. I’m a compulsive problem solver (half of my job as a designer is to solve graphic problems) so when I can’t find a solution or “make” one happen fast enough, I stress over it to distraction. This past month and week in particular has brought this concept to the forefront of my consciousness. (Thank you universe, I hear you, ps mercury retrograde, I hear you too)
In a little less than a week Tom and I will be moving into our very first house! ( I may have mentioned a few times, can you tell I’m super excited?!) I’m also more than a little stressed about it. Normal closing on a house is 3 months. The folks selling the house we are buying needed to settle in 1 month. (holy cow) This is awesome in that we now get to spend the holidays in our beautiful new home but is a lot to accomplish in a very short time. If you have ever bought a house or are in the process you know that its a LOT of info gathering and feeling like your giving money to everyone. For us, we also have to find a suitable tenant to rent the townhouse we are living in currently so that our landlord will let us out of our lease. Add on getting movers, packing everything, and still doing all the things you have to do in your daily life, all in a one month time frame... well.. you can see why it’s a little crazy over here.
I found myself having a little mental breakdown at work the other day. I was trying to do my job and thinking about all the things we had to do outside of work. (obviously this is super productive) I was worrying over an over about getting a tenant in by december. What if no one responded to our ad? What if we had to pay rent and mortgage until march? What would we do? Then the movers, what if we couldn’t find someone on short notice? Then I started thinking about insurance and all that goes into that... I had worked myself into an anxiety attack complete with a trip to the bathroom for a small cry. ( don’t feel sorry, thats not where I’m going here!)
In that bathroom I realized I was worrying about all the “what ifs” and trying to solve all the things that needed worked out, in my own head, at exactly the same time. There is not a person on this earth who can do that! I needed to BREATHE. (you know the faith hill song, “Just Breathe”) I needed to relax, take a breath, and trust that things would work out. I can’t force the universe to send the right tenant to us or the best movers, or the magical box packer to pack our place. Everything has to happen in its own time and I have to believe it will all work out. I mean if I don’t believe it why would the universe or anyone else?
Just let it breathe. When you get so wrapped up in emotions, its hard to be rational. You know how you get the best ideas when you’re in the shower or vacuuming.. well, it’s the same concept. I needed to let my problems breathe so that I could see the answer. When you stare so hard at the problem, you completely miss the answer waving at you with the giant light up sign behind it! You also miss the journey of finding the answer. Which is usually where you learn the most and makes the answer that much more beautiful. I also momentarily lost sight that i am not in this alone. Tom is right there next to me helping every step of the way, as are some wonderful family and friends.
Tom hugged me when I got home that day and told me he found movers. (He has no idea how much I appreciate him) While we still haven’t found a tenant, we have a contingency plan, and people have started emailing about the place. Some friends helped us pack and made us dinner. We are getting there and I am working on breathing.
I am blessed, grateful, and breathing. I declared this to be Grati-Vember and in just a week, I completely distracted myself and stopped thinking about the things and people I’m grateful for! Wherever you at right now, whatever you’re thinking about, don’t forget to be grateful for what you have and the journey your on. It’s a journey only you get to take and only you get to make it what you want it to be!
P.S the cats think the box city is spectacular and have been playing king of the castle ever since! and if you want to know more about Mercury Retrograde check out this article from Gala Darling, a blogger I just discovered! How to survive Mercury Retrograde